It's late. Well, technically it's early, I guess. Our house has been hit by a nasty bug and I'm on watch tonight. Our oldest had/has (I never know if since he's still a child I can say
had) childhood onset absence seizures. He hasn't had a seizure for a few years now, but I don't mess with fevers. They lower the threshold and make having one more likely. In ten more minutes, I can check him and give him more meds to make sure that fever stays down.
I turned to facebook to entertain my weary eyes and clicked on,
on this day. I love that little facebook gem. I'll take that walk down memory lane every day. Thank you very much. Today's caught me off guard a bit. Memories definitely flooded over me and I began writing a facebook post about it. I realized quickly that it was turning into a very, very long post and decided it should be on the blog instead.
A year ago today, I did the hardest thing I'd done in a long time and clicked the publish button on Amazon making The Ordinary available to all. Almost a year before, I began writing it to pass the time while waiting for my son to do his homeschool work. See, that firecracker, amazing kid of mine needed me to be close by. Laundry and housework had to wait until he was finished and one can only plan and grade so much. I was bored. So, I did something my husband continually encouraged me to do. I began to write. One page turned into ten. Ten to thirty. Pretty soon I wasn't just writing while Kaleb worked. I wrote every chance I got. It was so. much. fun. My husband would say, "I'm taking the kids. Go write." And I did. And I
loved it.
I, however, had no intention of ever showing that creation of mine to another soul...well, besides my husband! My husband read it as I went and encouraged me, but, he's my husband. He loves me. He never criticizes me and thinks everything I do is amazing. I'm not exaggerating. Really. I love him and his support, but I didn't believe him. I really wanted to. But, remember, I called this The Ordinary for a reason. I felt extraordinarily ordinary. I felt beyond ordinary. I couldn't see past that.
The day I finished it was amazing and so anticlimactic all at once. I typed
the end, pushed my chair back and stood up. My hands shot in the air and I exclaimed to my empty house, "I did it!" I quickly texted my husband and that was that.
I spent the next few months editing it. My middle daughter wanted to read it, so I handed her the latest, marked up, edited version. I had gone through it once again and was putting the corrections in the computer. I gave her the first couple chapters and off she went. She came back not long after and said, "I can't read this with all your writing on there!" That was the start of something amazing. I read it to her and watched Natalie's journey come to life in one of my favorite people's eyes. She would come home from school and beg me to read it to her. She'd give me pointers, like Essentials and Ordinaries should be able to have Essential babies. :) And at night when it was time to tuck in, she would beg for just one more chapter. It. was. awesome.
It put me in a bit of a pickle, though. We were about 3/4 of the way through and my mom was coming for a visit. I live 2,000 miles away from family so they were none the wiser. I knew Kyleigh was going to ask me to read it to her and my little secret would be out.
We took the kids to Universal Studios that year for Christmas. We surprised them with the trip and also with my mom coming with us. She came out to the car with me to help bring a few things into the hotel. As we walked in, I said the words. "Hey, I wrote a book." She looked at me and asked what I meant. I tipped my folder holding the 200+ manuscript in her direction and said it again. "I wrote a book."
Her reaction was beyond amazing. She didn't care what it was. She was just so impressed I'd written it. Before she left, she asked to read it. I told her she didn't have to. I knew it was a genre she didn't necessarily like, but she really wanted to. The morning of her flight, I quickly printed it and she tucked it in her suitcase.
After that, I told a few more people. Five total. I looked into Kindle Direct Publishing because it was an easy way to get it to those five people who lived across the USA from me. I was going to put it up for free, but my sister said she wanted to be the first person to buy my book! Thanks, Vickie! So, after looking at the button for what felt like an eternity, I clicked
publish.
Look! There it is!
My husband had been on a business trip and returned home that day. We picked him up at the airport and stopped for dinner on the way home. As we sat there, I received a text from my sister that my book was live on Amazon! I can't tell you what I was feeling. It was a jumble of good and bad emotions I'm still sorting through. My husband declared he was going to post it to facebook and I wanted to die right there. All three of my babies looked at me waiting for my response. Had it been he and I, I would have told him no way. But, how could I say no with them watching? I want them to be fearless. I needed to be fearless. So I nodded and fought the urge to throw up. I didn't sleep well for the next two weeks. Seriously. I have never felt so vulnerable in my life. I hadn't realized how good I was at sitting on the comfortable side of fear.
What happened next was really pretty amazing. So many friends and family responded with surprise and support. So many people bought my book! I couldn't believe it. And the kind words and great reviews that followed buoyed me up and pushed me to do more.
One thing this journey has taught me is that kindness and support doesn't always happen. Truth be told I've been pretty surprised at some who have been radio silent. Those of you who stand in my corner and accept me, flaws, uploaded rough draft and all, I truly love and appreciate all of you.
I feel the love and am so very grateful!
Seriously! Thank you!
This next picture is just because I need to prove to you all that I do know a thing or two about grammar...despite my rough draft upload and editing blinders! You know. Because facebook tests are real. Muh-ah! Love you!
